Day 12, I'm begining to accept this.

"I'm not a perfect girl. I'll annoy you, piss you off, say stupid stuff, and then take
 it all back. But all that aside, you'll never find a girl who loves you more than me."

I'm just starting to realize that this is how it's always going to be. A few short phone calls
while he is off duty, and then no contact for a while. When he gets deployed, it will
be worse. It's a tough pill to swallow. I love this man though, so I'm willing to accept
all of this. All I want in return is a promise that he's not going anywhere. I've already
let him know that I'm not going to play the games that some Airmen do when they are
in tech school, I'm not doing the break up and get back together 50 times thing. I
know he'd never do something that immature, but I honestly couldn't deal with the
emotional trauma of all that. Now if something was wrong, like he just got home
from combat and had PTSD, I would stick through anything to stay with him, but
I'm not dealing with a bunch of nonsense for no good reason. Don't get me wrong,
I love him more than I love even myself, but I've been through too much in my life
to stick around through bullshit I have the option to bow out of. With that said,
that is my personal opinion, you are entitled to agree or disagree. I have respect for
the women who can deal with the many break ups and still stay around, it takes a
determined person to do that. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to women who
have dealt with it, I'm just saying that I'm not going to, but another thing is that every
circumstance is different. As you all should know by now, I'm blunt about the way
I feel and I'm not going to hold back. It's a blessing and a curse. Of course all of
you love it, or you wouldn't still be reading. :) I've been debating on whether
or not to start writing D letters again, I know we can talk on the phone now, but
I love the idea of pen and paper love letters. I wonder if he will even write back?
He better. So I think I'm decided, I will be writing him letters again. Another thing
is I am still completely lost about what to get him for Christmas. I usually have all kind
of cute ideas by now, but I'm still completely lost. The only thing I've done for him
is print him out every Diary of an Air Force Girlfriend entry and make a book out of
them, which I'm printing and updating every day for him.
As always you can email: laceylovesdukex3@aol.com or you can visit The Diary's
facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend

Thanks to all of you, I love hearing from you guys!
-Lacey :)