Brandon and I use to spend litterally all day talking and hanging out. The only awake time we weren't talking or texting was when one of us was driving home from beign with the other. I knew when he left for BMT that it would be hard for both of us. I never expected what was to come. You littereally feel like throwing up. Getting out of bed became a difficult task instead of a normal part of my day. I found ordinary things hard when Brandon was gone. Everything reminded me that he wasn't here Praying for a phone call and a letter became a part of my daily routine. The lack of text messages and the constant weight sitting in my stomach was a reminder of how much I loved him and why I was holding on so long. I could keep myself busy during the day pretty well. It was the time that I was laying in bed right before I fell asleep or right after I woke up that made days difficult. I wrote religiously. Everynight and sometimes more than once during the day. His envelopes always came with 2 or more letters in them. I also LOVE to take pictures. I always sent pictures. I took pictures of what I did everyday, my doodles in class, his family, my family, my friends, and me, the leaves changing colors, the first snow Anything that he would have missed. B said that letters and pictures are what kept them going. You can never send to many pictures or letters. That is what keeps them going. They enjoy bragging about them in what little downtime they have. One thing I wasn't prepared for was the kind of missing him I would do. I knew I would want to talk to him and hang out and be "lovey". But I simply missed his presence. I missed the simple fact of knowing he was there. I didn't realize that everything I did would remind me of him. I told him one time in our notes that I just wanted him to come home. I didn't care if we argued for hours. I just wanted to be close to him and smell him and feel his hand brush mine. It seems stupid to want to argue but I would have done anything to bring him home to me.
Before B let for BMT I had him go with me to pick out a new notebook that we both liked. Then any stupid or super sad sappy things I had to say I wrote to him in there; then he could read them later but he didn't get letters from me about how kids at school were making fun of me or how I had an awful day and I wasn't sure how I would make it to the end of BMT. He recieved how class was going, how work was, how much I missed him, and I signed every single letter and note the exact same way.
Graduation is awsome. I was so nervous at the coin ceremony. I didn't know that they couldn't move until you touched them so I messed that part up and he ended up moving first or we would have stood there all day. It is so nice to see them and be close to and talk to the Airman. Be prepared they haven't been able to think for themselves for 8 1/2 weeks (B pretty much forgot how). At one point B asked persmission to use the bathroom (we told him yes) Being on base will make them super nervous to I recomend not spending alot of time there. Take him somewhere quiet and not to down town San Antonio there are to many people and it is to loud for the freshly released Airman. They become very stressed out.
The other thing I wasn't prepared for was the huge transition it is from BMT to tech school. Part of you is ready for a hollywood love. Long phone calls and lots of time to do whatever. The reality is the Airman are just as stressed at the begining of tech school as BMT. They want to talk but can't figure out how to do it. I wasn't ready for that difficult transition. Things did get better but it was hard. We both went to bed sometimes with hurt feeling and couldn't talk about them for a couple of day. You have to trust that your airman won't cheat on you. You can't think that they are off with the girls. If you made it through BMT then God has a plan for the two of you. You have to trust each other completly or you will drive each other crazy. Don't plan you whole day around his schedule If you get invited out then go out occassionally. Neither of you can be expected to sit around and wait for the other. It sucks to miss a phone call but the most important thing I have learned is that even though I love B more than anything I need to go out and laugh with my girls or have a popcorn fight in the middle of the movie theater. Maybe even just blare your music, sing and drive till I find a spot to think. once in a while take the time and competely focus on you for an hour or so don't think about school, work, your to do list. Forget about friends, family, the Airforce, and yes even your Airman. Talk with God, sit and enjoy the quiet do anything to take your mind off of the stressful situations You will come back with a new understanding and a rejuvinated strength to go on. Be content don't spend all your time wishing days away till you see your airman again. Enjoy your time apart and the time together will seem even better.
As you and your Airman travel throguh this chapter in your lives together you will recognize one of two things. 1.) the Airforce is not for the two of you as a couple and I can't say that it is for everyone. A military relationship is hard but it is so much more rewarding than an everyday relationship when you are with the person you love; or 2.) You will notice that the boy you watched get on a bus over 2 months ago is your best friend, your secret keeper, your love, the first person you want to tell everything to. The one you want to protect and take away all his pain. The one who you want to make happy. The one that no matter how many miles apart you are he is still the only one in your heart. He is your love your one and only and now that boy is a Man, an incredible person, and a United States Airman. You are proud to call him yours and you brag at every chance given. You will wait forever for his return. It is well worth all the struggles, tears, anger, and hurt to love your Airman to the end of time. (This is what B and I are discovering)
There it is hope you enjoyed it
Emilie Aaren
I want to say a special thank you to Emilie for being our first guest blogger.
I look forward to having more of you on as guest bloggers!!
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