Guest Blogger: Emilie

My boyfriend and I have known each other for four years.  We have been together as a couple for a year of that.  We met my freshman year and have been through some crazy things together.   I am not sure where I would be without Brandon. (I hate to go real sappy on you but i guess you could say we are high school sweethearts)  He has taught me to love and trust the Lord completly and that God would take care of everything so I don't need to be scared.  He loves me through all the stupid things I do.  Yes it sucks that he won't be able to come to my senior prom or high school graduation.  He won't be able to see my college dorm or college life.  I want him to be part of my life but circumstances have changed and he takes part in other ways.  There are things about this expience that I would go back and do with more poise and self control.  I would be a stronger girlfriend and never show how scared I am but in the end we are making it work (and sometimes it takes alot of work) I hope our story can help you find encouragment and feel God's love through your struggles. 

    Brandon and I use to spend litterally all day talking and hanging out.  The only awake time we weren't talking or texting was when one of us was driving home from beign with the other.  I knew when he left for BMT that it would be hard for both of us.  I never expected what was to come.  You littereally feel like throwing up.  Getting out of bed became a difficult task instead of a normal part of my day. I found ordinary things hard when Brandon was gone.  Everything reminded me that he wasn't here Praying for a phone call and a letter became a part of my daily routine.  The lack of text messages and the constant weight sitting in my stomach was a reminder of how much I loved him and why I was holding on so long. I could keep myself busy during the day pretty well. It was the time that I was laying in bed  right before I fell asleep or right after I woke up that made days difficult.  I wrote  religiously.  Everynight and sometimes more than once during the day.  His envelopes always came with 2 or more letters in them.  I also LOVE to take pictures.  I always sent pictures.  I took pictures of what I did everyday, my doodles in class, his family, my family, my friends, and me, the leaves changing colors, the first snow Anything that he would have missed.  B said that letters and pictures are what kept them going.  You can never send to many pictures or letters.  That is what keeps them going.  They enjoy bragging about them in what little downtime they have.  One thing I wasn't prepared for was the kind of missing him I would do.  I knew I would want to talk to him and hang out and be "lovey".  But  I simply missed his presence.  I missed the simple fact of knowing he was there.  I didn't realize that everything I did would remind me of him.  I told him one time in our notes that I just wanted him to come home.  I didn't care if we argued for hours.  I just wanted to be close to him and smell him and feel his hand brush mine. It seems stupid to want to argue but I would have done anything to bring him home to me. 

    Before B let for BMT I had him go with me to pick out a new notebook that we both liked.  Then any stupid or super sad sappy things I had to say I wrote  to him in there; then he could read them later but he didn't get letters from me about how kids at school were making fun of me or how I had an awful day and I wasn't sure how I would make it to the end of BMT.  He recieved how class was going, how work was, how much I missed him, and I signed every single letter and note the exact same way.

    Graduation is awsome.  I was so nervous at the coin ceremony.  I didn't know that they couldn't move until you touched them so I messed that part up and he ended up moving first or we would have stood there all day.  It is so nice to see them and be close to and talk to the Airman.  Be prepared they haven't been able to think for themselves for 8 1/2 weeks (B pretty much forgot how).  At one point B asked persmission to use the bathroom (we told him yes) Being on base will make them super nervous to I recomend not spending alot of time there.  Take him somewhere quiet and not to down town San Antonio there are to many people and it is to loud for the freshly released Airman.  They become very stressed out. 

    The other thing I wasn't prepared for was the huge transition it is from BMT to tech school.  Part of you is ready for a hollywood love.  Long phone calls and lots of time to do whatever.  The reality is the Airman are just as stressed at the begining of tech school as BMT. They want to talk but can't figure out how to do it.  I wasn't ready for that difficult transition.  Things did get better but it was hard.  We both went to bed sometimes with hurt feeling and couldn't talk about them for a couple of day.  You have to trust that your airman won't cheat on you. You can't think that they are off with the girls.  If you made it through BMT then God has a plan for the two of you.  You have to trust each other completly or you will drive each other crazy.  Don't plan you whole day around his schedule If you get invited out then go out occassionally.  Neither of you can be expected to sit around and wait for the other.  It sucks to miss a phone call but the most important thing I have learned is that even though I love B more than anything I need to go out and laugh with my girls or have a popcorn fight in the middle of the movie theater.  Maybe even just blare your music, sing and drive till I find a spot to think.  once in a while take the time and competely focus on you for an hour or so don't think about school, work, your to do list. Forget about friends, family, the Airforce, and yes even your Airman.  Talk with God, sit and enjoy the quiet do anything to take your mind off of the stressful situations You will come back with a new understanding and a rejuvinated strength to go on.  Be content don't spend all your time wishing days away till you see your airman again.  Enjoy your time apart and the time together will seem even better.

    As you and your Airman travel throguh this chapter in your lives together you will recognize one of two things. 1.) the Airforce is not for the two of you as a couple and I can't say that it is for everyone.  A military relationship is hard but it is so much more rewarding than an everyday relationship when you are with the person you love; or 2.) You will notice that the boy you watched get on a bus over 2 months ago is your best friend, your secret keeper, your love, the first person you want to tell everything to. The one you want to protect and take away all his pain.  The one who you want to make happy. The one that no matter how many miles apart you are he is still the only one in your heart.  He is your love your one and only and now that boy is a Man, an incredible person, and a United States Airman.  You are proud to call him yours and you brag at every chance given.  You will wait forever for his return.  It is well worth all the struggles, tears, anger, and hurt to love your Airman to the end of time. (This is what B and I are discovering)

There it is hope you enjoyed it

Emilie Aaren

I want to say a special thank you to Emilie for being our first guest blogger.

I look forward to having more of you on as guest bloggers!!

As always, feel free to email me at diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com

check us out on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend

follow us on twitter at: @willis_lacey

or follow us on pinterest: http://pinterest.com/laceyyyy

I'm going to get a tattoo today!!

I'm super excited, I am getting "m'aimer pour qui je suis" on my shoulder!!
(It means love me for who I am.) I'm also getting a double helix piercing!!
Do any of my readers have any tips for a girl getting her first tat?
I didn't even talk to D yesterday so I don't have any updates, he's currently
at a training camp so I'll probably get to start talking to him again in the next few
days! Going days without talking to him makes me kinda crazy, I worry so much..
I know he's safe, but idk..I guess the fact that he's in the military puts that scared
thought in the back of my head.
Also, today is my payday...so shopping here I come!!
Feel free to email us at: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com
check out our facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend
Follow us on twitter at: @Willis_Lacey
Follow us on pinterest at: http://pinterest.com/laceyyyy
 Also, if you are interested in being a guest blogger, send me an email!
If you have already recieved your questionnaire, get it filled out and returned
to me ASAP so we can schedule your guest blog.
Next Monday's guest blogger will be Emilie so tune in Monday morning to read
her blog!! :)

I have a surprise!

I'm going to start featuring a new guest blogger every Monday! If you are
interested in applying, please email me at: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com
Here's how it will work:
You send me an email letting me know that you are interested, I will send you
a questionnaire, fill it out & return it, then I will contact you with scheduling information.
If you are chose to be a guest blogger, additional information will be provided.
You will be given full credit for your blog post, and will be notified if any
part of your blog is edited.

With that said, send me those emails! I'm interested in hearing from all sorts of
people, military significant others, and even people who have served in the military
or are currently serving!

On a different note, after talking last night, I think that D has decided that he
doesn't want to make a career out of the Air Force. Who knows though
really, he changes his mind 850 times a minute. I can honestly say that tech
school has been harder than basic was, we can actually talk and argue!!
Haha, not that we argue a whole lot. Oh yeah, and another surprise ladies.
;) Prepare yourselves for girly screams.

Check out The Diary on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend

Email us at: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com

Follow us on twitter: @willis_lacey

Follow us on pinterest: http://pinterest.com/laceyyyy

It's been a good long while, maybe I should explain.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

There have been some kinks in the road, and let me assure you that everything
is okay. My younger sister was hospitilized, my grandmother had a heart attack,
and D had some temporary mental issues. Everything is okay, and everyone is okay;
but as you all should know, sometimes with the military lifestyle...things come up.
I had to take some time off from blogging to take care of all these issues, because
well...family comes first. As a refresher for our new readers, D is in tech school
and he will be deployed in late March, early April. I'm Lacey, I'm the support system
for this Airman. Being an Airman's girl is an every day struggle, and the point of this
blog is to show fellow military s/o's that they are not alone. One thing that I have learned
is that these brave men and women are under an EXTREME amount of stress, they don't
need additional stress added. Sometimes being supportive is hard, especially when
you are hurting from the stresses of your own life. Lonliness is a common feeling
among military s/o's and even among the Airmen themselves. If you make the
decision to be with a man or woman in the military, you just need to be sure. Second
guessing yourself after you've already been dealing with the military lifestyle is the most
awful feeling in the world. Just be sure, because you can never prepare yourself for something
like this. On a different note, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or if you
just want to chat feel free to send me an email, like the diary on facebook, or follow me on twitter.
 (I'm back for good, I missed all of you!!)
Email: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend
Twitter: @Willis_Lacey

Days 28, 29, and 30, your happiness is not more important.

Let me rant for a minute, my airman treats me like his happiness
is more important than mine, and it in fact, isn't. not one
bit. Just because he is in the military doesn't make him
more important than me. I stay home, I wait on him..I don't have
to. Supporting him is like a full time job on top of my own job,
it's not easy, it's never been easy. So why does he get to act
like I do nothing, like his happiness is more important than mine.
Doesn't it matter what I want? Does my hopes and dreams for the
future even matter to him anymore? I don't even know. He acts
like I'm no where near as important as him and then pretends
to be all sweet and acts offended when I finally get pissed about
it. Okay, rant over.
This weekend was of course, uneventful. We texted mostly and
played words with friends. (By the way, great game to play with
your Airman while he is away..as long as you both have Android
powered phones or iPhones.) He finally read a little bit of
this blog, my wonderful baby..he didn't seem impressed. Leave it
to a man. I love this blog, I love the wonderful people that
I have met through this blog, and I never want to give it up.
There's nothing like being in a military relationship, it's
something that words can never describe, and when you start
arguing with all this distance between you, it's so hard to deal.
It's like your ability to function is just taken from you,
I'll be honest, we've argued like crazy lately, over everything.
We are driving each other crazy, I can't sleep or eat...I feel
terrible. I hate arguing with all of this distance between us,
it's so hard. As always, all of you wonderful people can contact
me through email: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com OR facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend OR twitter:
@willis_lacey

Day 25, it's constant irritation.

I find myself getting constantly irritated with my bf, I know he is busy, I really do.
But is it that hard to text me back when he is off duty? I seriously get irritated with
him, it's ridiculous for him to take hours to text me back while he is off duty. I
know that he wants to spend time with his friends and such, but damn..I wait
all damn day to hear from him. I want to say a special thank you to the ladies who
emailed me last night with useful information about marraige in the USAF, it was
a big help!! I'm also doing a little research on my own, and I will be putting a
blog up with the information that I find here in a few days!! I'm getting super
excited about planning my trip to Lackland (the second time!!), I can't wait
until I get to order all of my tickets and such. :) I've had a few ladies email
me from addresses that have return emails blocked, so I am sorry if I haven't
replied, but I kinda can't. If you don't hear from me, send me a message on
facebook. :) As always, you can email me at: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com
or check out The Diary's facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend
or now you can even follow me on twitter: @willis_lacey
Thank you for all of your continued support!!

Day 23, Christmas Exodus, and Day 24.

I had a wonderful break with my Airman ladies, I hope the ones of you that
got to spend it with your Airman did too!! I just want to say that I'm so glad
that I have you ladies, and this blog. I have a wonderful surprise for you ladies,
and I will let you know what it is soon enough. ;) I will be flying back to San
Antonio to spend time with my Airman at the end of February, I'm excited to
get the tickets ordered so I can start my countdown again. Sorry I didn't write
during exodus, but I couldn't bear to spend time doing anything else but spend
time with my wonderful Airman while he was home. I dropped him off at the
airport yesterday afternoon and the tears in his eyes nearly killed me. It hurts
to know that once again I am going to go weeks without seeing him, but I
am truly glad that I have had the honor of experiencing life as an USAF
girlfriend. It's a great experience. I'm sure by now all of you know that D
has a year and a half remote deployment to South Korea, which is scary
enough. While he was home we weighed our options, to get married before
he leaves or not to. To get married while he is still in tech, or to do it after he
gets out. I want to know your opinions ladies. What paperwork is neccesary
to fill out if you get married to someone in the Air Force? What do we need
to know to make life a little easier on us? Anyone who knows or just wants
to give me an opinion, email me at: diaryofanairforcegirlfriend@aol.com or
check out the diary's facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend
Here are some pictures from his time back home:

Day 5, I'm sick and I need to be loved on.

“In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life”



He's all the way in Texas, he can't love on me if he is in Texas. :( I need to be taken care
of right now. :( I hate this being apart thing, it's terrible. Stupid doctor put me on these
very strong antibiodics and now my stomach is killing me. But on another note, I'm going
Christmas shopping today and I'm super excited. I don't know what to get my Airman
for Christmas, I want it to be special. Like super special, I want it to be something he
looks at and is like awww. I want it to be something he never wants to be without.
email me your ideas at laceylovesdukex3@aol.com or post them to Diary of an
Air Force Girlfriends facebook page! www.facebook.com/diaryofanairforcegirlfriend
(did I forget to mention that we have expanded to facebook?) I highly encourage
you guys to join on facebook, I hate that I'm the only person that get's to have contact
with you guys. You could offer each other a lot of support. :) I'm so excited, 18 days
until I will be in my lovers arms again. I told him that I am going to attack him in the
airport and make a big scene. :) I cannot wait. Last night I did the cutest thing, I took
a deck of cards and on each one I wrote one reason why I love him...so now I have
52 reasons why I love him and I'm mailing them to him this weekend in his care package.
I hope he likes it.<3

Day 52, I'm having fun :)

Now that the end of BMT is near, I'm finally able to let go and have fun because I know in
just a few short days I am going to be reunited with my love<3 In the past few days I
have been very upbeat and excited. I feel so much less stress now. It's great knowing
that BMT is almost over, I can't wait. I am going to have so much to be thankful for
this Thanksgiving. 4 days until my flight leaves for San Antonio, 4 days until I begin this
long journey into being an Air Force girlfriend. I'm nervous but I have a wonderful support
system. <3

Day 51, this is how I'm going to spend the rest of my life?

Thank you so much to all the awesome people that I have met through this blog! Just yesterday
I found an awesome group on facebook that I wish I had discovered earlier, it's called Airman
Swag, this group is great and I was immediately welcomed in! I highly encourage all of my readers
that are on facebook to check it out! Thank you to Airman Swag, Military Issued Girlfriends, my
friends, my family, and my boyfriends family! I've loved hearing from all of you, and I highly
encourage you to send emails to Laceylovesdukex3@aol.com or send me a private message
on facebook. Anything you tell me or ask advice about is completely confedential. I love all the
feedback and I can't wait to hear from more of you.

But anyways, this whole experience has been very difficult for me to deal with and the past 8
weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. In 5 short days I will be reunited with my best
friend and my love. I know that fighting this battle will be completely worth it when I finally get
to be in his arms again. My life is turning out to be completely different than what I expected,
I'm a military girlfriend...I'm an AIR FORCE girlfriend, and I'm so proud. I love telling people how
amazingly proud I am of my boyfriend. When I get to San Antonio, my life is going to change forever,
being a military girlfriend will finally be set in stone. This is how I'm going to spend the rest of my life,
living through letters and the occasional phone call, spending months apart from the man I love,
and holding my breath hoping and praying that the day I get to be in his arms again will come quicker.
I can't wait<3

Day 28, and there's only 28 more days to go.

Yup, that's right....I'm halfway through this. I am so freaking  excited! I cannot
wait until I get to San Antonio. :) I feel like a huge weight is lifted off of me now that
I know that I've made it through the worst part. I only have 28 more days until I find
out what my surprise is....I will finally know for sure what this "something pretty" is.
I also can't wait until I can go home and check the mail, I have a feeling that I will
have another letter when I get there. :) I sent him even more pictures last night, he
said that he loves getting all his pictures out every night, they are his inspiration...but
he gets pissed when one of his friends make a comment about me. Oh how I love my
extremely protective Airman<3 I can't wait, these 28 days can't go by any faster.
I'm so proud of my wonderful Airman, I can't wait to be in his arms again. <3

Days 18, 19, and 20, someone shoot me.

I got a thirty minute phone call on Saturday :) It was pretty great. oh and I got another
letter. He was very upbeat and joking around, I'm glad he was because I've been
miserable for the past few days. I just really don't feel like talking to anyone,
I have so much that I need to think about, right now I really need some support.
I've been so lost in thought for the past few days that I flip shit anytime someone
interupts my thought process. When he called, he started talking about how if
he gets sent overseas he is taking me with him...how sweet. Anyways, I'm exhausted,
and I have to get back to work.

Day 14, two full weeks without losing my mind..

I think I'm doing pretty good considering the circumstances...I miss him, I love him,
and I'm waiting on him. I go through every single day counting down the days until
Sunday so I can get my weekly phone call. It's like he is in prison or something...I
feel like a crazy person, like this whole situation...it just makes me feel like I am so
different than everyone else in my life. I hate this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Idk what I can do with myself at this point, it's like just grrrrrrrr....I wanna punch
someone, I literally yelled at a lady at work today. She deserved it, but still..I'm
not allowed to do that...that's a no-no. Whatever, I miss and love my airman...I
can't wait to see him again.

Day 12 and Day 13, I got my second phone call

"I can't think of anybody else who I hate to miss as much as I hate
missing you."

I guess from now on I will be counting down the days until sunday because
that is the day that he will be calling....I miss him so much, but hearing his voice
was more than amazing. I missed his first phone call and I can't even describe the
devestation I felt when I saw the missed call pop up on my phone. But, he called
back a few minutes later and thank god, because I would have never forgave
myself...from now on, on Sundays I will not leave my house, I'm not going through
that again, I love him more than I love myself...I can't wait until i can see him again.
I hate this, I hate my shitty job, and I hate going to these crappy classes, it's
just not worth it without him around...I can't fight without him here to push me.

Day 9, FML

I am so tired, working full time and being a full time student is extremely difficult...I'm
so mentally and physically exhausted. I'm ready for my girls weekend. I'm so ready for BMT
to be over with because honestly, I hate this. It gets easier every day, but still, this is exhausting
This would be exhausting even if he was here, but with him being gone it's twice as hard.
So, you know what? FML.

Day 8, I still reach for him in the middle of the night..

"Goodnight, sweet dreams, and I love you with all my heart." I miss these
words more than anything.

It's awful, my heart sinks every single time I reach over and he's not there.
When I wake up and reach for him, the minute I realize his side of the bed
is cold and there's nothing but a blanket, my heart sinks. I automatically
wake completely up, and going back to sleep is nearly impossible. I
can't call him, I can't text him, the only thing I can do is write him letters
and it still hasn't even sunk in that he actually gets to read those. I sent him
pictures of us yesterday morning....I wonder if he has even got my letters yet?
I sure hope so, I miss him like crazy. I'm confused about all of this, I'm not
sure how it is supposed to make me feel. The only thing I know for
sure is that I am so lucky to have a man that amazing, one who I know
thinks about me before he goes to sleep at night...I'm blessed. I'm extremely
grateful of everything he has ever done for me, and I will never take another
hug, kiss, or cuddle for granted. I love my airman, and I hope he's careful
because he's got my heart with him in Texas.