Day 22, almost half way there.

"While I sleep, I dream of you, and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side, and my days in your heart."

I'm so ready for this to be over with, I've never been more excited about Thanksgiving, I think. Haha, I'm really nervous to find out what this special surpise is, he still hasn't broke and told me. But of course, he hasn't had many chances to tell me, I've only talked to him once since I found out about this "very special" surprise. I am so ready for his next letter or phone call, this long distance thing is just too hard for me. I am a big girl though so I am toughing this shit out, but to be honest, the whole distance thing just makes me doubtful. It scares me because I start to feel bad when I start having a good time without him here, I should be able to have fun without him here. I honestly feel like I shouldn't be having fun without him around, even though deep down I know that isn't true. Idk, I am so emotionally confused right now and in desperate need of advice.

Day 21, another letter....

I love getting his letters, he just goes on and on about how much he misses me
and how he is taking me with him when he goes overseas...welp, we all know
that there is only one way that I could come with him. ;) I've been begging him
to tell me what the very special surprise is in every letter...because well, I am dying
of anticipation. I can't believe that I'm already 3 weeks into this. I'm almost halfway
there, all I need to do now is buy my plane ticket and such. I guess it will feel
more real to me as soon as I get the ticket in my hands. But seriously, I am so
freaking excited, I can't wait to be with him again, especially if I am the only
person who goes...we will have some serious alone time.  For the past few
days I have been so upset and depressed, and well...there's no one here to support
me. I know that what I'm feeling is normal, but I just can't help but to second
guess myself. I'm honestly so confused. Thank you to everyone who has been
here to support me, especially the people who barely know me but have
tried their hardest to make me feel better. It is greatly appreciated. As always,
feel free to email Laceylovesdukex3@aol.com or send a private message or
even wall post to my facebook. Thank you and I love you all<3

Days 18, 19, and 20, someone shoot me.

I got a thirty minute phone call on Saturday :) It was pretty great. oh and I got another
letter. He was very upbeat and joking around, I'm glad he was because I've been
miserable for the past few days. I just really don't feel like talking to anyone,
I have so much that I need to think about, right now I really need some support.
I've been so lost in thought for the past few days that I flip shit anytime someone
interupts my thought process. When he called, he started talking about how if
he gets sent overseas he is taking me with him...how sweet. Anyways, I'm exhausted,
and I have to get back to work.

Day 15, seriously?

I'm so pissed I have 6 more weeks of this, I hate it...4 more days until Sunday,
and then I get to hear from him. I hate my job, I wish I had a good reason to
quit. Someone give me a good reason, I'm so emotionally exhausted when
I get off of work I can barely keep my eyes open. My job makes me want to
become an alcoholic...although I don't drink and don't plan on starting anytime
soon. Most of my friends are a pretty good support system, but some of the
people that I have been friends with the longest aren't there for me...like
seriously, I've been friends for you for 15 years and you're going to pretend
that I don't exist...how about screw you, you'll miss me. I'm pissed, but
for the most part, I have really amazing friends and family who have helped
support me through this hard time. I love all of you, and thank you.
& A special thank you to the people who read this blog, I have about 50 views
a day and I usually recieve a few emails or messages on facebook with feedback.
Thanks to all of you and feel free to email me at Laceylovesdukex3@aol.com
or send me messages via facebook. I love hearing from you. :)

Day 1, the depression sets in.

"I am a military girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter
how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a committment with
no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to
me."

I saw him the last time and gave him his last kiss on Monday. I spoke to him on the phone for
the last time yesterday at 5 p.m., and I recieved my last text from him last night at 10 p.m.
I spent almost the entire night crying my eyes out wrapped up in his blanket. Today is the first
day I will have absolutely no contact with him, and I'm freaking out. Now, for some background
information, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years, 1 1/2 of which he has been in the
Air Force. He is currently at Lackland AFB in Texas for BMT, it is the first time we have ever
been apart for this long with no contact. He promises he is coming home for me, I believe him.
After a few days I will be fine, I know it, I just need a slight break from reality...after I get paid
 next Monday I am going to go get my nails done and buy a halloween costume. I guess I am
going to spend the next 8.5 weeks pampering myself and concentrating on school and work.
But damn it, thinking of when I get to see him the next time is what is getting me through the day
 today.