30 September 2011

Day 3, i feel like i did something wrong.

I feel like I do when he gets mad at me and ignores me. And Its terrible, I want to call him and appologize and beg him to stop ignoring me. Realistically I know he is just at BMT....idk I guess I will feel better when I hear from him. I got his address yesterday and sent his first two letters today, I am more than ready to hear back from him<3

I want this for christmas:)

29 September 2011

Day 2, I am ready to fucking punch someone.

 "I am a military girlfriend, there is no ring on my finger that symbolizes our
commitment. I hope every day that he will be able to call, because a 30
second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions...smiling
with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based
on a brief communication where "I love you and I am okay" speaks more than
volumes and gives me the strength to keep going."

I'm not sure why I am so angry, but I am pissed. I'm pissed at everything....I'm pissed
because I'm lonely, I'm pissed because I miss him, and I'm pissed because I can't talk
to him. Today was my first day back to school since he left and I'm even pissed about
that. I guess I am so mad because there is no guarantee that he will come home to me,
although I trust that he will. The thought of eventually being able to fall asleep in his
arms is the only thing that is getting me out of bed in the mornings. I want him to be proud
of me and what I've accomplished when he gets home. I want him to be as proud to call
me his girlfriend as I am to call him my boyfriend. I love my Airman, and I miss him
desperately already....8 weeks to go.

28 September 2011

Day 1, the depression sets in.

"I am a military girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter
how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a committment with
no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to

I saw him the last time and gave him his last kiss on Monday. I spoke to him on the phone for
the last time yesterday at 5 p.m., and I recieved my last text from him last night at 10 p.m.
I spent almost the entire night crying my eyes out wrapped up in his blanket. Today is the first
day I will have absolutely no contact with him, and I'm freaking out. Now, for some background
information, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years, 1 1/2 of which he has been in the
Air Force. He is currently at Lackland AFB in Texas for BMT, it is the first time we have ever
been apart for this long with no contact. He promises he is coming home for me, I believe him.
After a few days I will be fine, I know it, I just need a slight break from reality...after I get paid
 next Monday I am going to go get my nails done and buy a halloween costume. I guess I am
going to spend the next 8.5 weeks pampering myself and concentrating on school and work.
But damn it, thinking of when I get to see him the next time is what is getting me through the day